that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
