with your own penis?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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