i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
