Tell her she can't have a vagina
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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