I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
