Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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