Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize