I met the friendliest cop last night
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sorry about my life...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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