There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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