guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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