If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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