Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
