My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
