If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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