Non-Jews are for practice
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize