I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
