Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
