why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
