He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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