Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish I only lived at night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize