And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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