ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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