Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
