Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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