sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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