Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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