we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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