hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
