so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
