he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
