So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think my vagina is haunted
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
