and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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