Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize