I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
