I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
