I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
