these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
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