you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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