I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
