We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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