good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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