I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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