Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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