capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
