Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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