It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
