I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
