i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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