oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
