i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
