Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
