he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you had me at cake vodka
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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