I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My hand turned me down
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
