your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
