He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
