So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize