Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
