Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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