I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He has the fingertips of a God
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