no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
