So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
