I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
