i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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