Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize