remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
