Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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